Strange Things You See at a Thrift Store: Halloween Edition

As I've said before, Halloween is a big deal for thrift stores. (*Looks at the last fifty or so posts that are just me playing dress-up* *coughs*) At the store where I work, this means a couple of things. One is a big section just for costumes, designed with some... interesting decor choices. One is that we stock a line of new costume and Halloween products alongside all our used goods. And one is that the weird things you see in a thrift store start to get even weirder.

Let's take a look, shall we?

We'll start with the decorations, which basically just means weird skeletons trying on costumes.

*squints and tilts head* It's like Captain Jack Sparrow was a Death Eater and died in prison and so did the dog.

Yes, a skeleton with an uncomfortably placed scythe and devil horns definitely makes me think about turning in a job application.

OK, this is a weird thing. We've been having an epidemic lately of these little statues-- just the sort of cute, kitschy collectible stuff we get all the time-- except painted black, with little red eyes. This is the only one I've been able to photograph because they disappear as soon as they appear-- I don't know if people are buying them or if one of the other employees is just throwing them away. 

At least, I hope those are the only two options.

Ah, a t-shirt that manages to combine poor grammar with poorer life decisions.

Here's one for that subset of people who are fans of both Star Wars and the Haunted Mansion.

Not, strictly speaking, a Halloween Shirt, but I found it pretty terrifying all the same.

Now, thanks to some family history I am uncomfortably aware of the many problems which can affect the human back. Enough to be able to say that if your spine looks like this... something has gone terribly, terribly wrong. 

On a semi-related note, one of my favorite things about the "new" costumes is how awkwardly they try to avoid copyright violations when naming their products. A wig with Princess Leia's iconic side buns? Sell it as a "Space Princess" wig. Blue gingham dress and ruby slippers? "Tornado tossed maiden." Obvious replica of Snow White's dress from the animated Disney Movie? "Fair Princess". Mario and Luigi outfits? "Video Game Guy" and "Video Game Dude". Queen of Hearts dress? "Royal Sweetheart". (Not quite how that character is usually interpreted...) Or my personal favorite-- a wig modeled after Harley Quinn in the recent Suicide Squad movie becomes: "Bubblegum Villain".

I'm not sure how to tell you this, store supplier, but... spiders are invertebrates.

I kind of want to see someone do a reading of The Call of Cthulhu while snuggling up with one of these. Kind of makes it hard to take your cosmic horror seriously when it comes with baby blue eyes and a care bear heart. 

Also, we live in a strange world when a toy Pomeranian looks more like a horrifying Eldritch Abomination than the poster-monster for Lovecraftian horror.

OK. I can see why these didn't get put in the toys (fragile and breakable, and most parents who shop here seem to treat the toy aisle as a babysitter). I can see why putting them behind glass would be preferable to putting them on the small shelves that usually hold home decor and tiny collectibles-- they're just too big. What I don't understand is why someone decided to put these in the glass case for fancy and antique items instead of throwing them away and/or killing them with fire before they come to life and murder us all. 

And just in case you thought the employee break room was safe from creepy items:

That's it for now. My second to last costume post will be coming in a bit. In the meantime... be safe, be smart, and don't associate in any way with creepy dolls. Just say no.