Strange Things You See at a Thrift Store: May the Fourth be with you edition

Hey, long time no see! And for good reason. Turns out working three jobs at the same time keeps you kind of busy. (Surprising, right?) I do have a few stories to share once I can squeeze out some time, which will be easier in a couple of weeks when school gets out and I don't have orchestra anymore. But in the meantime, I wanted to have a delayed Star Wars day celebration by showing off some of the more bizarre and funny star wars t-shirts we've gotten at the thrift store.

I might have posted this one back in Halloween, but we'll bring it out again for that small subset of people who are fans of both Star Wars AND Haunted Mansion. 

This is obviously photo-shopped: no way Vader can use a touch screen with those gloves on.

I know some people for whom this would be persuasion enough. 

Can you imagine running into a proselyting Sith Lord as a missionary? Probably ten times as awkward as running into the Jehovah's Witnesses. 

OK, this isn't even a weird thing: I honest to goodness want this BB8 dress in my size and with sleeves. Maybe I can make one?

This one is mainly funny to me because I can remember selling these shirts at Walmart four years ago. I have spent more of my life than I care to think about organizing men's t-shirts.

I feel like you're mixing your murderphores, there.

I've mentioned before there seems to be a restaurant called "Chuy's" which sells Mexican-food themed Star Wars shirts. Here's a couple more examples of their work. 

On the other hand (ba-dump-tish!) , this shirt is a little more... impressionistic. 

Gotta hate those too-late realizations.

This one's for my Mom. And anyone else who speaks enough French to know what line is being quoated here. 

WARNING: Darth Vader might not be suitable for ages 3 and up. Choking Hazard. Contains small parts and a large temper. Always keep in a well-ventilated area. Batteries not included.

Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying your spring. I'll be back sometime soon with some more updates. But in the meantime:

Costume Challenge #44: Halloween Proper and Followup

Costume #44: Your Halloween Costume

No, really, that was the theme.

Anyway, after well over a month of putting on and washing off crazy costume makeup, finally on Halloween I started washing my makeup off and my face just came right off with it:

OK, OK, obviously that's not what actually happened, but I thought it made for a pretty funny explanation.

I went simple on the clothes-- a set of skull pattern pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt-- and put my hair in a simple bun to keep it out of the way.

I wanted something a little bit spectacular to finish the challenge off, and when I found the tutorial I used I knew it was the perfect look. As it happens, I was really scraping the bottom of the barrel of my cosmetics by the time I got here-- I'm out of a lot of things now-- but I think I still managed to pull it off.

The basic idea is to have one part of your face made up nicely, then use eyeliner to draw the drips and black spots to make it look like the skin is starting to decay. Then on the rest of the face I went for a slightly more realistic approach to doing a skull than my Day of the Dead makeup (which was more stylized and ornate). The teeth came out kind of funny, I'll have to practice those more. 

Time: 45 minutes

Unexpected or Notable Reactions: This didn't get a huge reaction at the thrift store, but I did wear the makeup for the rest of the day-- and this led to one of the best reactions I've gotten this whole challenge. I was at the grocery store, looking for something in produce, when one of the other shoppers turned around and saw me. He gasped a little and jumped about two inches. Then he laughed and said, "Oh, right, it's Halloween today."

Would I Actually Wear This For Halloween: Um...

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: Look What You Made Me Do, by Taylor Swift. (Though, really, what you should be watching is the Hocus Pocus Version: Look What You Made Me Brew. Just trust me on this, you need to see it.)

The old Jennifer can't come to the phone right now.

Why?

Because she's really tired.

Follow Up:

Well, it's been a couple of days since Halloween now, and I'm kind of sad that the costume challenge is over. I had a lot of fun doing this, and I learned a lot of techniques for hair and makeup that I can use even in regular, non-costume styles. I got lots of compliments (always a plus) and all in all had one of my best Halloweens ever. Now that it's over, my thrift store job is quite a bit less fun. Also, I keep having to remind myself that it's OK to scratch my face.

So would I want to do this again next year?

Hahahaha--NOPE.

I'm glad I did this. But I am also very tired of dressing up, of getting up early to do insane makeup, of trying to figure out how to work in impractical clothes-- it's been a lot. And now I have a lot of cleaning up to do: my bedroom is littered with costume accessories, I have a lot of borrowed items to wash and return, and my bathroom currently looks like the site of a chalk-and-glitter explosion. My current acne level is roughly high school. Long story short, I'm ready to be done.

I am desperately hoping not to have this job come the next fall-- because while the thrift store job really isn't a bad gig, it's definitely not my dream. Or what I got my degree in. No, that's my music therapy private practice, which isn't exactly thriving but is still (somehow) managing to stay afloat. You know, the kind of afloat like an iceberg where it's mostly sunk but there's just a tiny part still above water. We'll see where it takes me, but hopefully it takes me somewhere a little different from here.

Anyway, before I head out, I've got a follow up to my Halloween edition of "Strange Things You See In A Thrift Store".

They all came back.

...

I'm really glad that I don't have to work at this place after dark.



Anyway, I hope you had an enjoyable Halloween. Probably there will not be any blog posts for a few weeks because 1) sleep, and 2) November is Nanowrimo and apparently I have a death wish. But failing the chance of me falling victim to a hostile store takeover by demonic porcelain figurines, you'll hear from me again soon enough.

Costume Challenge #39-43: Final Stretch

Costume #39: Horror Movie

This might be the easiest costume I've done yet. Well, not counting the lion hat.

If you're having flashbacks to a particular horror movie, you're on the right track. I decided to go as an onryō, a kind of ghost from Japanese mythology that's become a staple of horror movies. (You can find out a little more about that on the TV tropes page for Stringy-Haired Ghost Girl)

I borrowed the old-fashioned nightgown from my Mom, then brushed my hair so it was all in my face. (For once a costume where my hair is an asset instead of an inconvenience!) I didn't bother with any makeup-- I'd been planning on doing something crazy with my face, maybe a slit-mouth like a kuchisake-onna (another staple of Japanese horror stories) but since I still had a runny nose from last week's cold I decided that sleep was more important than makeup. The teddy bear I actually made myself as a project back in college-- hand sewn (and pretty badly if you look closely) out of a bunch of scraps I had on hand. When I was making it, I hadn't gotten the pieces to do the face yet-- but when I saw how delightfully creepy the bear looks without a proper face I decided to just leave it that way and call it "No Face Bear". Perfect for a creepy ghost girl.

Time: 5 minutes. 

Would I Actually Wear This For Halloween: Hm. On the one hand, I loved how this turned out. Fast, easy, looks great and kind of eerie. On the other-- having my hair in my face is a huge pain. Itchy, hot, and hard to see. I gave up on the hair style by the time I'd been working for just a few minutes. So I'd want to think hard about what I'd be doing before deciding to use this costume. There are a lot of things that could be done to punch this costume up-- add some fake blood, doing something with the face, etc. For that matter, I think this costume would benefit a lot from just a bit of acting-- making weird noises, walking backwards, that kind of thing.

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: This is my only costume that even slightly fits with the Ghostbusters Theme, let me have this. (Though I think Still Doll by Kanon Wakeshima makes a decent Runner-Up)

Costume #40: Rebels

I knew when I saw the theme that they were intending rebels as in counter-culture: tattoos, punk clothes, mo-hawk, that kind of thing. But I felt kind of like taking a different approach-- specifically, a Star Wars Rebel.

I really enjoyed this costume.

I started out with a pair of khaki capris and a grey t-shirt. The cloth wraps actually used to be a hotel curtain-- my Mom has a big box of them left over from one of her jobs as a seamstress, so I cut it into two large strips for the body and two smaller strips for the arms. I added a brown belt, a pair of knock-off Uggs, and my trusty aviator goggles. I borrowed a toy lightsaber from my Mom's dress-up bin to complete the costume. The arm wraps were actually really annoying-- they kept unwrapping, or sliding down my arms, which started messing with my sensory processing disorder. I think in the future I'll have to figure out a better way to make those-- maybe sewing fitted arm-bands with some kind of fastener, and then putting fabric strips on that so it just looks wrapped. 

I didn't bother with makeup, but I gave my best stab at Rey's triple-bun hairstyle. It didn't turn out super well: my hair is just too long and too heavy (and I just didn't do that great a job) but it was close enough that most people still recognized who I was.

Time: 50 minutes (most of which was spent on the fabric strips)

Would I Actually Wear This For Halloween: I had actually been wanting to do this for my costume last year, but sadly I didn't get to dress up at all. So I was really happy to have a chance to try this! I don't know if I'll ever do it again for a Halloween costume, but this is definitely coming back out when I see The Last Jedi. (Am I excited? Yes. Have I seen the trailer? Nope, and I'm not planning to. I don't want any spoilers. And if you think I'm not serious about this, you should know that I succeeded in not seeing a single promotional image or trailer for the recent live action Beauty and the Beast that included what the Beast looked like so that I could see him for the first time when I actually saw the movie. This involved a lot of clapping my hands over my eyes and stumbling around blindly. For months.)

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: There's no beating The Imperial March by John Williams for this one.

Costume #41: Steampunk

This costume almost slipped past me-- I had a lot of ideas of what I wanted to wear that didn't end up working out for one reason or another (too small, impossible to walk in, ran out of time to make) which made me very sad because I love the theme so much. But then I remembered my Movie Stars costume and remembering thinking that it looked a little like a robot... and I knew how I could make this work.

I went with simple clothes-- a maroon velvet skirt and a black t-shirt, with a creme colored camisole worn with the sleeves tucked in to make a make-shift corset. The top-hat I made for a costume several years ago, and I added a brown belt, a pair of gloves, and a necklace with a steampunk-esque design.

I based my makeup design on some of the makeup worn by members of Steam Powered Giraffe, my favorite group of singing steampunk automatons. I started by using gold eyeshadow as a base (not as good as metallic face paint but it at least gave me a bit of a sheen) then drawing in panels and screws with eyeliner and filing in/shadowing with eyeshadow and lipgloss as appropriate. I tried drawing some gears on my temple but they ended up kind of wonky-looking.

Time: About 40 minutes
Would I Actually Wear This For Halloween: Certainly, though there's a lot of details I'd want to fine-tune, fix, or add to make this costume really shine. A better blouse, a corset or waist-coat, some spats, more practice on the makeup... you get the idea.
Most Appropriate Halloween Song: Though there are tons of great Halloween robot songs, and just as many if not more great Halloween robot songs, I've got to go with Brass Goggles by Steam Powered Giraffe. Actually, a lot of their songs over the years fit the bill.

Costume #42: Hunting Season

For some reason during this whole challenge, black t-shirts have sort of become short hand for "you can ignore this part of the costume". Anyway, brown pants and a t-shirt, pretty normal clothes, this costume was just in the makeup. 

I used bronzer and brown eye-shadow to darken my skin. While I'm still out of white eye shadow, I did dig out an old container of white body-shimmer powder that did well enough for adding the spots and lightening the eyelids and nose. Then I did the eyebrows, nose, and eye-shapes with black eyeliner. 

Time: 25 minutes

Would I Actually Wear This For Halloween: Probably; I was really pleased with how it turned out. I'd want to get a brown shirt and maybe some antlers, but this was a good look for a surprisingly simple makeup job.

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: There's not really a lot of "spooky" songs about deer; the best I could come up with is Deer In The Headlights by Owl City. 

Costume #43: Zootopia

I have a pair of tiger-stripe pajama bottoms so I just wore those with a black t-shirt. Again, this costume's really in the makeup. 

I'm having a lot of fun with these animal-makeup costumes: maybe I should've just done forty animal costumes for this challenge. Or maybe I should do my makeup like this everyday, what do you think?

Eh-- anyway. I used orange and yellow pastel chalk, white shimmer powder, and a few different shades of eyeshadow to do the base. Then I added in the nose, stripes, and other details with eyeliner. For the mouth, I outlined my lips with black lipstick, turning up the corners, then did purple on the outside and pink on the inside to try to imitate actual tiger lips. To finish up I did my hair in two high buns to look a little like tiger ears (which, oddly enough, my hair was the part of the costume that got the most compliments).

Time: 1 hour

Would I Actually Wear This For Halloween: Sure, I'd consider it. It's a fun makeup job to do. I'd want to get a tail and some ears, maybe find or make a nicer outfit.

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: Tiger by ABBA. (Incidentally, I spent a long time debating whether or not to do a black cat instead so I could do Superstition for a theme song, but in the end I decided a tiger was more fun)

And I'm off Saturday, so that's it for this week-- in fact, that's almost it for the challenge. All that's left is Halloween proper. That doesn't have an official theme, it's just whatever costume we come up with. And I've got an idea that I'm pretty excited about, though it's a little ambitious so maybe I should have a quick and easy backup on hand just in case. 

Before Halloween, though, I did want to give you a link to this little Playlist I put together on YouTube. It's got most of the "Most Appropriate Halloween Song" entries I've been collecting over this challenge and a few other favorite gems. So if you're in the mood for a mix of familiar and obscure Halloween songs, are playing DJ to a Halloween party, or just think your costume deserves it's own theme song, be sure to take a listen!

Strange Things You See at a Thrift Store: Halloween Edition

As I've said before, Halloween is a big deal for thrift stores. (*Looks at the last fifty or so posts that are just me playing dress-up* *coughs*) At the store where I work, this means a couple of things. One is a big section just for costumes, designed with some... interesting decor choices. One is that we stock a line of new costume and Halloween products alongside all our used goods. And one is that the weird things you see in a thrift store start to get even weirder.

Let's take a look, shall we?

We'll start with the decorations, which basically just means weird skeletons trying on costumes.

*squints and tilts head* It's like Captain Jack Sparrow was a Death Eater and died in prison and so did the dog.

Yes, a skeleton with an uncomfortably placed scythe and devil horns definitely makes me think about turning in a job application.

OK, this is a weird thing. We've been having an epidemic lately of these little statues-- just the sort of cute, kitschy collectible stuff we get all the time-- except painted black, with little red eyes. This is the only one I've been able to photograph because they disappear as soon as they appear-- I don't know if people are buying them or if one of the other employees is just throwing them away. 

At least, I hope those are the only two options.

Ah, a t-shirt that manages to combine poor grammar with poorer life decisions.

Here's one for that subset of people who are fans of both Star Wars and the Haunted Mansion.

Not, strictly speaking, a Halloween Shirt, but I found it pretty terrifying all the same.

Now, thanks to some family history I am uncomfortably aware of the many problems which can affect the human back. Enough to be able to say that if your spine looks like this... something has gone terribly, terribly wrong. 

On a semi-related note, one of my favorite things about the "new" costumes is how awkwardly they try to avoid copyright violations when naming their products. A wig with Princess Leia's iconic side buns? Sell it as a "Space Princess" wig. Blue gingham dress and ruby slippers? "Tornado tossed maiden." Obvious replica of Snow White's dress from the animated Disney Movie? "Fair Princess". Mario and Luigi outfits? "Video Game Guy" and "Video Game Dude". Queen of Hearts dress? "Royal Sweetheart". (Not quite how that character is usually interpreted...) Or my personal favorite-- a wig modeled after Harley Quinn in the recent Suicide Squad movie becomes: "Bubblegum Villain".

I'm not sure how to tell you this, store supplier, but... spiders are invertebrates.

I kind of want to see someone do a reading of The Call of Cthulhu while snuggling up with one of these. Kind of makes it hard to take your cosmic horror seriously when it comes with baby blue eyes and a care bear heart. 

Also, we live in a strange world when a toy Pomeranian looks more like a horrifying Eldritch Abomination than the poster-monster for Lovecraftian horror.

OK. I can see why these didn't get put in the toys (fragile and breakable, and most parents who shop here seem to treat the toy aisle as a babysitter). I can see why putting them behind glass would be preferable to putting them on the small shelves that usually hold home decor and tiny collectibles-- they're just too big. What I don't understand is why someone decided to put these in the glass case for fancy and antique items instead of throwing them away and/or killing them with fire before they come to life and murder us all. 

And just in case you thought the employee break room was safe from creepy items:

That's it for now. My second to last costume post will be coming in a bit. In the meantime... be safe, be smart, and don't associate in any way with creepy dolls. Just say no.