Axle Existence Failure

I really do like my bike.

My bicycle was purchased for my mission, and it was sort of unique there. You see, most of the missionaries I knew got big, bulky mountain bikes, as a defense against the many spiky, thorny plants native to Texas. My little road bike, on the other hand, is a graceful elegant thing that did not fit right on bike racks-- leading more than one bemused elder to look at my bike, hung on the back of the car at an angle suggestive of a wounded deer, and ask whether or not it was physically possible to ride the thing.

But let me tell you, I got less flat tires than any missionary I knew that brought a big dirt bike.

And the trend has continued; my bike has managed to get through a mission, college, the Boise Greenbelt, and a new daily commute to and from the thrift store with hardly any problems!

Well, OK, there was that one flat tire. And that other flat tire. And the time I needed to replace the derailleur. And the time an elder hopped on my bike and a pedal came off. And then the time when I had to disassemble the bike to fit it in a box to ship home and the pedal (reattached with a special glue that would hold until I applied "a bit of force" to break the bond) stuck, and the "bit of force" necessary turned out to be roughly 250 lbs of Tongan muscle...

OK, fine, my bike has had problems, like all vehicles.

But the problem on my way home from work the other day was a new one.

I was cutting through the park on the way home, just cruising along, when I went over a curb--and my bike just sort of collapsed.

I wasn't hurt or anything, just a bit confused. I stepped off my bike to see what had happened-- and discovered that the axle for the front wheel had disappeared. Without it, the wheel had popped right out of place.

I spent a minute feeling kind of stunned, looking around to see if the axle had fallen out somewhere nearby. No sign of it. Was it stolen? Did it just fall out? I honestly have no idea-- I don't even know how long I was biking without it.

This left me in a bit of a pickle, but luckily a kind woman driving by saw me and gave me and my wounded bike a ride home. Also lucky, the replacement axle was quite inexpensive.

But, still-- that might be the weirdest bike problem I've ever had.

Costume Challenge #1-3: Boding Well?

Welcome to week one of the Thrift Store Costume Challenge. I've included notes on how I put each costume together and how people reacted, but if you're not in the mood to read all that feel free to just scroll through and look at the pictures.

Costume Theme #1: Tacky Tourist

First costume out of the gate, and it's a pretty easy one. I already had a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of baggy cargo shorts, not to mention sunglasses. I borrowed some leis from my Mom's costume bins, then wore some long socks with crocs (she said as if she didn't perpetrate that crime against fashion on a regular basis). I would've worn socks with sandals, but company policy requires close-toed shoes for safety reasons. I guess losing my toes would make my day a little less pleasant. The pasty ugly tourist knees are 100% natural.

My brother, who has been working at the same thrift store as a summer job until school starts up again, also dressed up, though I think he pulled the look off better than I did. He even adopted a Minnesotan accent for the entire day, which was pretty funny.

We used some white creme makeup (the kind that always hits stores around Halloween) to do the sunscreen on our noses. Which came with an unfortunate surprise for me-- the "creme" was very runny and watery, more so than you'd expect. And it smelled kind of funny. That was when I realized that the bottle I'd managed to dig up was over ten years old. So... ew? And a bit of a problem-- while the runny texture was perfect for imitating sunblock (I had a manager ask me if it really was sunblock), I've got some more makeup intensive costumes later on that need better than this. (Also, who knew what kind of bacteria had grown in there). So, on day one of the challenge, I broke the rules and spent a few bucks on costume makeup. I know, I know, I feel bad, but I kept it under $10 so it's at least close to my original plan. Still, it didn't exactly bode well for the challenge that I found myself breaking the rules on the very first day.

Time: 10 minutes, but only because I was trying something new with my hair

Reaction from co-workers: Other than my brother and I, only two employees dressed up. And, other than the one manager who asked about the sunblock (mainly because the makeup she used on her nose peeled off by 9am), no one said anything about it

Reaction from customers: Nothing. I might as well have been wearing my regular uniform. My brother, on the other hand, got several comments and a few odd looks-- again, he wore the look way better than I did.

Would I actually wear this for Halloween: Nah, it's kind of boring. Even if I'm in a hurry, I can do better than this.

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: Tiki God, by Presidents of the United States of America (contains a little bad language, sorry)

Costume Theme #2: Despicable Me

I wasn't looking forward to this one. I genuinely loved Despicable Me (haven't seen the sequels yet), but minions have been overused to the point of being driven into the ground-- but that was the only costume for the theme I really could do with what I had and so little time to prepare.

That being said, I actually really enjoyed this one. It was a fun costume to wear.

Pretty simple costume--blue jeans, a yellow t-shirt, my old air-walks (the poor woman's converse), and a pair of black gloves. The goggles are aviator goggles that I got on ebay for a costume several years ago. 

Time: 5 minutes, if that

Reaction from co-workers: Well, a few people started laughing and pointing when they saw me, which I'm choosing to take as a good reaction. There were five or six people dressed up-- mostly as minions, but there were a couple of other characters (and stuffed animals) represented.

Reaction from customers: Nothing. Obviously it takes more than a set of goggles to impress customers, because no one acted like I was dressed like anything out of the ordinary.

Would I actually wear this for Halloween: Not for my main costume, probably, but this could be fun if I was going to a party with a group of friends dressed in the same theme. It's definitely a good last minute costume. If I did do this again, I would add a pair of suspenders.

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: Well, Happy by Pharrell Williams is the obvious choice, but it's not really a Halloween song. Hm... supervillains with minions... Gotta be Skullcrusher Mountain, by Jonathan Coultran. 

Costume Theme #3: Biker/Rocker

NOW we're talking.

My airwalks make another appearance, along with jeans and a black t-shirt. The vest came from my Mom's costume bin, I'm pretty sure she made it, though I added some pins as extra decoration. I borrowed a guitar hero controller from the toy section for the photo. Oh, and I'm wearing a bunch of those wrist bands that were really popular when I was in High School. Knew I kept those for a reason. (They'd probably look less rebellious if you looked close enough to see that half of them have some kind of scripture reference on them...) Add a bandanna and you've got an outfit, though the clothes are only half the costume.

I used some teasing and hair spray to try to get my hair bigger for that rockstar look, but it didn't really take. Partly that's probably an issue of skill and not enough hair products, but partly it's just the fact that my hair is so very long and heavy. Still, this is about as floofy as my hair gets.

I put on a base of sparkly white eye-shadow (though that wore off pretty quick over the course of the day), then drew in the shapes with eyeliner. I used black eye-shadow and purple lipstick to fill in the shapes, did purple eye-shadow on my other eye, and then did plenty of eyeliner and mascara. I finished off with some black lipstick-- which, it looks OK, but I kind of wish I'd sprung for some quality black lipstick from Hot Topic or something. The costume black lipstick we sell at the thrift store is kind of weak, and the tube barely has enough lipstick to get me through to Halloween. Oh well, it was cheap, and you get what you pay for. 

Time: An hour and a half, but it would take much less time for someone with shorter hair

Reactions from co-workers: Only one other person dressed up, and nothing so elaborate, so I got a lot of attention and compliments. One guy kept shouting "Freebird!" every-time I walked past the production line. A couple of people said that they didn't recognize me until they saw my name badge. One woman told me that this look on me is pretty sexy (??? um... thanks?). My coworkers questionable taste aside, I think it went over pretty well.

Reaction from Customers: Maaaaybe I got a couple of extra smiles? Maybe? Sheesh, this is a tough crowd. I guess for the average thrift store shopper, you get to the point where you've seen everything and getting directions on where to find men's ties from someone who looks like a cheap KISS knockoff doesn't rate as much as a raised eyebrow. (My dad pointed out that just because people aren't visibly reacting doesn't mean they aren't noticing my costumes. True-- but I'm an attention seeker, I want to notice them noticing!) I am not dissuaded, however; maybe it'll take a few weeks, but I will come up with a costume that can't be so easily ignored. Mua-ha-ha.

Would I actually wear this for Halloween: Heck yeah, I had a blast with this outfit. The only downside was that it got really warm (that vest doesn't breathe well and floofy hair means hair that's always getting in your face), so I'd prefer to wear this when the weather is a little cooler. 

Most Appropriate Halloween Song: Toughie, but I think I'll go with Black Magic Woman, by Carlos Santana

So there's the first week down. 

I have to say I'm a little disappointed-- the managers hyped this up so much in advance that I thought more people would be dressing up, but it's been kind of pitiful so far. My brother has reminded me that I shouldn't complain since less costumes on other employees improves my chances of winning something in the drawing, but I still think this would be more fun if everyone was coming in costume. Oh, well, I'm sure more people will dress up as we get closer to Halloween.

Here's hoping, in the meantime, to some cooler weather this fall so I can survive wearing long sleeves as part of my upcoming costumes. 

45-49 Days of Halloween

Those of you who know me well know that I love Halloween. It is, hands down, my favorite holiday.

I love the ghost stories, the monster movies, the cute and scary decorations, the haunted tours. I love candy and the costumes and the novelty music and seeing Rapunzel, the Grim Reaper, David Bowie, and Cleopatra hanging out in the same place. Halloween has this powerful sense of possibility, of magic, of anything might happen.

Thrift stores, it turns out, also love Halloween, though for a more materialistic reason. You see, for most retail stores, Christmas is the big sale season--with everyone getting each other gifts. But for thrift stores, prime sales time is Halloween. Half our annual sales are for Halloween  costumes. So Halloween starts early and runs hard.

How early?

We put up the Halloween stock on Saturday. In. August.

How hard?

Well, somebody figured out that when the employees dress up in costume, sales go up.

So they are having us wear costumes to work several times a week until Halloween. Starting tomorrow.

You might have thought I'd be ecstatic, but at first I was overwhelmed. I mean, between running a business and getting ready to teach two orchestra classes, I've got a lot on my plate. Getting up early to dress up 49 days over 2.5 months (I'm actually not sure if it's 45 or 49, there's still a little confusion on whether my schedule changes in October) adds a significant burden to that. And I'd have to bike in costume, and work in costume, and then get cleaned up in time for my other jobs.

And, while we can wear any (appropriate) costume we like, they're encouraging us to wear particular themes, different  ones every time.

So I approached the list of themes with some trepidation, and figuring that I'd reuse a few simple costumes and insist on my regular work uniform other days.

But, reading the list... I... Look, I have a problem. I truly cannot resist the chance to dress up in weird costumes. .I blame my mother.

Not to mention, to encourage the costumes, everytime we come to work in costume we are entered into a prize drawing.

And I had to skip Halloween last year entirely because I was busy losing my job and moving across state lines. Which made me really sad. And that cinched it.

So I decided to do all of them. Every last one. All 49. (45?)
And, because I am pretty much broke, I am adding a self imposed challenge-- no spending money. Everything I wear has to be something I own, borrow, or make myself.

This challenge is lessened somewhat by my aforementioned mother, who spent years cultivating  a reputation as "that crazy scouting lady who always comes in costume" so I have some resources. But this is still going to take a lot of creativity, planning, and eyeliner. Lots and lots of eyeliner.

Anyway, I'll be posting photos and cosmetics information here. If you are unpleasantly surprised by this sudden foray into fashion blogging, rest assured it's just until Halloween. Or until I go completely insane, whichever comes first. I'm thinking to post with costumes once a week instead of putting them all up at once or spamming your feeds with 49 separate entries. (45?)

So, yeah. Happy Halloween?

Stranger Things You See in a Thrift Store

Originally I was going to wait a couple of months before doing another Thrift Store post, but it turns out that today is National Thrift Store Day, so this seemed like an appropriate way to celebrate. 

So, once again, let's dive into the strange world of things you can find in a thrift store.

I was trying to come up with a caption guessing what the presidents might be listening to that would result in a Hamilton joke, but then I realized that I already knew exactly what these guys would be rocking out to:

Nothing to see here; just Darth Vader, riding a bike and walking his AT-AT

OK, maybe a little less humorous, but here's a tip for shoppers from the employees: if you decide you don't want to buy the clothes you've been lugging around in your cart, the best place to put it is next to the dressing room, so we can find it and put it away for other people to buy. Hiding your entire shopping cart under the furniture where we find it two weeks later is possibly the worst place you can leave it.

This would be the Hawaiian shirt for the sailor who never managed to pass all his knots in boy scouts.

Up for debate.

For all the scouters reading this

"One of these drawers is not like the others, one of these drawers just doesn't belong"

I thought at first this was some kind of canopic jar, but my brother pointed out to me that this is a drinks mixer. Kind of takes all the fun out of it.

I'm not sure if this is Santa Cow, or if the cow is failing to cosplay Over the Garden Wall

I didn't know we were hosting the annual Elmo Convention this year...

These shoes are actually my size and I am more tempted than my budget should allow

OK, seriously, where do people find these t-shirts???

Good advice.

That's it for tonight. Happy National Thrift Shop Day!

Strange 'Things You See In a Thrift Store

So, working in a thrift store, you see a lot of... bizarre things.

Unlike working other retail jobs, all of your product is other people's leftovers. Sometimes this can mean amazing treasures-- designer labels, practically unused. A scrapbook from 1909. Cute shoes that actually fit ladies' size 10 wide width.

But it also means you get whatever garbage people don't want anymore.

A lot of the strangest stuff never makes it to the sales floor; there's a whole production line that looks over everything and makes sure that things which are obviously broken or unsellable go into the appropriate trash or recycling bins. I mostly work on the sales floor, making sure items are in the right place and that things are organized and neat, but I hear stories-- like the time someone donated an entire rack of clothes. And I mean rack; they just took the bar right out of their closet and put it in the box with all the clothes still hanging from the rack on their hangars.

But even so, there are some truly strange things that make it onto the sales floor, and I can't resist sharing. So sit back and enjoy some photos that truly demonstrate that one man's trash is another man's entertainment.

Just in case you've never seen a naked Anakin doll riding an appaloosa

This t-shirt shows what I can only assume is the mighty cat-taur

Sometimes it's less the item itself, and more the location that the pricers and rollers determine. For example: yes, I do consider a murder mystery dinner party to be an essential accessory for any kitchen

For those formal spiderman themed events

*sigh* Look, customers, maybe you are always right, but that doesn't mean you can just hang up the clothes you decide not to buy on the support bars in between the racks. (I found twelve shirts, eight necklaces, three pairs of pants, and four pairs of women's size eight shoes all hung up in that little cluster, and not nearly enough hangars to support them all either)

Hey There Delilah, it's the invasion of the Plain White T's! (Seriously, someone donated 30 identical plain white xl men's t-shirts at the same time, and I got the job of making them fit on the racks. It was a weird day.)

The shirt that I decided *not* to get my dad for father's day

I could easily do an entire post on the weird Star Wars t-shirts we get

That feeling when you sense soulless eyes glaring at you from the bathroom accessories section, and you look over to see a severed head

For those days when you need to wear close-toed shoes but you really don't want to

You see what I mean about the Star Wars shirts?

This would probably have changed the plot of the movie, just a little bit

Did I say "strange things you see in a thrift store" because obviously I meant THE BEST things you see in a thrift store! (and before you ask, these were two sizes two small for me, otherwise I would have bought them, shoe-string budget be darned, and waited impatiently for the next rainy day)

Dear customers, you might always be right, but that is not how you hangar. The collar goes on the top, not the side, and both of those little holes your arms go through are supposed to be hanging on the plastic. 

Apparently the support column is not worthy to rule Asguard

That's it for now, but I'm sure I'll have some more for you soon enough!